What a pleasant surprise it was to stumble across this today!

The SANS institute is the leading Information Security body in the world, Funded/created by a cooperative effort of the FBI and NSA (National Security Agency) as well as other sources and working with other security/intelligence/law-enforcement agencies and companies around the world.

They develop and set standards worldwide for information security, helping governments, financial institutions, etc. improve security and security awareness.

The FAQ they adapted from my document is here (with full credit given!):
http://www.sans.org/resources/malwarefaq/pptp-vpn.php

I was certified by the SANS institute's GIAC (Global Information Assurance Certification) program a little over 2 years ago. Part of this (most difficult of all my certs) program is a complete thesis/dissertation/practical applying what's been learned and delivering a detailed (and has to be unique) document, proving comprehensive understanding and usage of the skills developed for "real world" use.
They normally keep a copy in their giac.org section of their site listing all their certified people ( http://www.giac.org/GCIH_400.php you'll see me listed there ). However, to be in the SANS Institutes main malware faqs is unusual, and a high honor. ;)

I chose to do mine on the Microsoft PPTP VPN implementation (VPN = Virtual Private Networks), commonly used worldwide. VPNs allow people and businesses to connection to remote locations "security" using encryption tunneling to make a normally public connection (such as the Internet) private. I noticed there were lots of "bits and pieces" of information scattered around about PPTP and vulnerabilities, etc. but no single comprehensive document or resource, so I decided to try to create that document, and it looks like it worked! ;-) I spent 6 months building my own lab with around 20 systems and months of online research, to put the comprehensive document together.

I just found out that they published my document as their Malware (Malicious Software) FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) section as the definitive response to anyone needing to learn about Microsoft's PPTP (Point To Point Tunnelling Protocol) VPNs (Virtual Private Networks), the most commonly used VPN in the world (thankfully being slowly phased out by IPSec and other standards, as even MS is abandoning their poor PPTP implementation) !

http://www.sans.org/resources/malwarefaq/index.php

The FAQ they adapted from my document is here (with full credit given!):
http://www.sans.org/resources/malwarefaq/pptp-vpn.php

The original document I submitted is here:
http://www.giac.org/practical/Hawke_Robinson_GCIH.zipbr />

This is an essay I did for one of my required courses related to the TR/RT (Therapeutic Recreation / Recreational Therapist) degree I am working on currently.
I hope you find it informative. Most of it I had gleaned over the years, but in actually sitting down and researching (and confirming information), I found a few interesting extra tidbits (like the relationship of H.G. Wells and wargaming), that were a total surprise.
Enjoy! .
-Hawke

Hawke 2004-09-30
RCLS-201
An Overview History of Role Playing Gaming

Role playing gaming has it's origins far back in ancient history with wargaming. Wargaming is the simulation of combat strategies and tactics represented in reduced scale with various rules, and often some sort of randomizer, such as dice or cards, to add an element of realistic unpredictability. As long as their has been organized warfare, there appears to have been some form of wargaming in every culture throughout history.... (click the READ MORE link to read the rest).

Chess and the Chinese game Go both are very much based on wargaming, but considered lacking by some, because of the lack of unpredictability offered by "true" wargaming with dice and/or cards or other means to add uncertainty as in the "real" world.
H.G. Wells was renowned during the late 19th century and early 20th century as a novelist, journalist, sociologist, and historian. Some of his most famous novels include The Time Machine (1895), The Invisible Man (1897), and The War Of The Worlds (1898).
He revolutionized wargaming with his publication of Little Wars (1913). Previously wargaming was mostly the domain of the military and wealthy elite, his book make it easily understandable and available to everyone that could read.
In the 1960s, J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings hit the literary world, and inspired the minds and hearts of generations, book sales in the USA second only to the bible. Wargamers and many others were inspired by Tolkien's works, and began working on ways to modify wargaming so that statistics, including magic, and individuals of significance, not just whole armies, were included.
Chain Mail provided wargaming rules with extra features such as magic and mythological creatures, it was released in 1968 by Gary Gygax, and would later evolve during the 1970s into the now famous (and infamous) Dungeons & Dragons.
The 1980s were the "Golden Age" years of role playing games. In the 1990s hybrid RPG games using cards started a shift to simpler rules, and that shift to cards was completed with the creation of Magic: The Gathering, a still world-wide popular CCG (Collectible Card Game).
The RPG industry continues to grow and is now a multi-billion dollar market. It has diversified from just "paper and dice" games to now also include hybrid CCGs, computer games, persistent online worlds and MUDs. There are also worldwide LARPS (Live Action Role Playing) groups still going strong.

Innumerable genres, systems, and settings abound. A very brief sumary included:
Fantasy/Medieval:
Dungeons & Dragons
Runequest
Robin Hood
Amber (Based on Roger Zelazny's Amber series, diceless game, uses cards)
Pendragon (King Arthur)
Conan

Science Fiction
Star Wars
Star Trek
Traveller
Doctor Who
RIFTS (Multiple universes/dimensions of reality)
Babylon 5
Robotech/Battletech
Aliens

Horror/Suspense/Gothica:
HP Lovecraft's Call of Cthulu
Vampie: The Masquerade (inspired tv short tv series, Kindred: The Embraced)

Mystery/Paranormal:
X-Files
Noir (Sam Spade and Mickey Spillane type detective mysteries)

Action/Adventure:
James Bond
Indiana jones

Oriental:
Bushido (feudal Japan)
Oriental Adventures

Old West:
Boot Hill
Deadlands

Comic book heroes (Such X-men, Batman, Spiderman, etc.):
Heroes
Champions

Humorous:
Ghostbusters
Paranoia
Toons

Amazing that an entirely new hobby industry has developed from non-existence to so much in just about 30 years!
There are those who take it even further, mostly adults, participating in reenactments or Live Action Role Playing (LARP). The SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) is not exactly a LARP organization, but they do try more to reenact various time periods (medieval Europe, feudal Japan, Tzarist Russia, etc.) in historically accurate ways, and include combat in armor with various refereed and "on your honor" rules for contact, as well as many rules for correct chivalry, dealing with "class" such as nobility and serfs, etc. Only the fighters generally compete in combat, the majority of members act out other roles, many in costume, of diverse "supporting characters", such as minstrels, servants, courtesans, royalty, merchants, tradesmen, etc. SCA members are frequently used as extras in movies and television shows, and many are used as consultants to make certain that scenes, costumes, dialog, etc. are historically authentic to the periods depicted in various media.
In the early to mid 1980s some individuals began a campaign against role playing gamin and organized a group called BADD (Bothered About Dungeons & Dragons) to slander and try to ban all forms of role playing games. They kept trying to get the public to believe that participating in rpgs would lead to suicides, murders, occultism, anti-social behavior, and anything else they could come up with. Some schools, churches, and communities fell for the false rhetoric and banned role playing games during this time.
These negative incidents received a disproportionate amount of misguided media and press coverage on and off for a while. They attempted a number of lawsuits, and tried to pressure lawmakers to pass laws, all such legal attempts were quickly thrown out. This persisted sporadically until around the early 1990s when official reports on studies about role playing games, and the accusations of BADD and similar entities proved the group's claims falsified and techniques of coercion for false testimonies, severely suspect. There are still some extremist religious groups and some others obsessed with the idea that role playing gaming is just a means of occultism or other antisocial behavior.
There is no doubt that someone already extremely unstable, can go overboard with a role playing game, just as they can with gambling, extreme sports, overeating, drinking, escaping into reading obsessively and not living life, or doing drugs, or any of a number of other ?escapes?. Gaming is a tool like any other, that can be overused and abused.
RPGs provide an unprecedented range of benefits for a leisure activity, some of these are:
Social
Cooperation with diverse people/cultures/background on common goals
Leadership
Walking in others shoes/experiences
Exposure to other cultures, religions, histories, etc.
Languages/Linguistics
Multicultural mythologies
Learning/following the rules but also ?thinking outside of the box when needed?

Intellectual
Mathematics
Statistics
Researching
Problem solving (e.g. puzzles, riddles, mazes, etc.)
Reading/writing (technical)
History
Geography
Cartography
Geology
Economics
Government systems
Politics
Ecology
Metallurgy
Meteorology
Astronomy
Physics
Demographics
Warfare tactics and strategies
Technologies past and present
Architecture




Creative
Theatrics/acting
Improvisation
Reading/writing (creative)
Artwork (drawing, painting lead figures, etc.)
Music
Poetry

How many other single leisure activities in life can provide so rich and fulfilling an experience as in the preceding list?
A very basic and quick example of a role-playing process follows...
The game referee, sometimes known as the Game Master meets with the players in a comfortable setting around a table, or anywhere they find comfortable, and begins with a description:
"You and your friends have just walked into the courtyard of an ancient building. The courtyard is approximately forty feet square. The walls, built of a tan colored stone material apparently indigenous to the area, are built to the points of the compass. They are about thirty feet high. You entered from an opening in the south wall. You see the north wall has some stairs going up, and the east wall on your right has what appears to be a solid metal door hanging open on rusted hinges. The walls are crumbling in places, and much is overgrown with ivy and weeds. In the center is a large fountain about fifteen feet high in what appears to be the form of a series of three flower-like terraces. Surprisingly, the fountain is currently spouting clear and cool looking water. Looking at the water, your more acutely aware of how dry you mouths are after the long day's hike to arrive here, with no water previously in sight.
The wind is picking up as a storm from the south, with lightning and dark clouds gathering, quickly approaches. It is getting colder by the minute,
What do you do?"
At this point, those playing in the game each take turns telling the GM and the other players what actions they take. Some will have mundane results, others could have surprising consequences. Dice are used to simulate the random events that can occur in life, and make it unknown in advance, even to the referee, what exactly will happen next. For example, someone may decide to climb the stairs, there are some loose steps, and depending on how agile the player's made-up "character" is, with a roll of the dice, that character may leap to the top unscathed, or may have a bit of a fall to deal with. Of course, there also could be trouble in the form of "ill-intentioned bandits" lurking within the entrance of the door....
I began RPGing around 1979 at 9 years old, and continued on and off until a few years ago. My sons, 4, 6, & 8 are now learning to game as well. They, of their own volition, and despite my mild protests, have been sucked into the collecting craze of Yu-Gi-Oh and Pok-e-man collectible card games, but after introducing them to rpging, they regularly comment on how much more satisfying role playing gaming is.
Many kids are spending so many relatively anti-social hours on computer games, and failing to develop so many skills other than quick fine motor skill reflexes. RPGing offers a means to engage their ample imaginations with so many other benefits. Such gaming can help develop invaluable social, creative, intellectual, and leadership skills that can benefit them throughout their lives. People of all ages can benefit from using such activities in their leisure time. It encompasses such wide interests, covering fantasy and medieval, to science fiction, horror, gothic, mystery, comic book heroes, cartoons, anime, and any other setting anyone can imagine. Who hasn't wanted to pretend to be some favorite character of a book or movie or television show, or famous historical person or event?

These are the lyrics to a piece I wrote and composed the music for back, heck somewhere between 1990-1991.
This was inspired by my reading Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series.
I have an old recording from "way back when" of this song that I burned from casette to mp3.
You can listen to it (and others) here:
Incarnations of Immortality (1991) mp3
You can see the list of my songs here:
Old Static page of Synthetic Zen

Chord progression:
F#dim
Gdim
Adim
Aaug
Click the "Read More" link to view the lyrics...

Incarnations of Immortality (c) 1990-2005 by Hawke

There's a mistress of fate
Three into on they make
And they will not wait
for any Man...

Death rides on a horse
Pale, and steady of course
Collecting his souls
of Everyman...

There's a slave of destiny
Who cannot be set free
And follows the threads
of the Tapestry...

From the mists of Chaos
She does form her threads
To weave the pattern
of You and Me...

(Chorus)
(Chorus part 1:)
(Chord progression: E, F, G, A)
So you thought you could
do what you wanted,
Live life to the fullest
everything you wanted,
But when Thanatos
does arrive,
When you are no longer alive...

(Chorus part 2)
(Chord progression: Dmin, Cmin, Dmin, C#min, Cmin, G, Ab, A)
You will see how gaunt your soul is,
And you will never find solace.
You'll fall down
to Lucifer's old realm.
Where Satan rules,
You'll pay your dues.

(Chorus part 3)
(Chord Progression: D,A, C, G)
But the cycle
will continue
You'll be
Stuck.
You can run
if you want to
You're out of luck.
The flames will
keep on burning you
you'll be stuck.

(finale)
There's a mistress of fate
And no one can make
her
late.

Streetwalkin' (c) 1992-2005 by Hawke

My eyes climb
Through the craggy rifts and valleys,
towers and highways
of her weather-beaten face.

My heart feels for
the deep scars and furrows
welts and bruises
of her hammered grace.

Oh, don't you see?
Oh, won't you feel?
They're everywhere,
but invisible,
to the cold eyes
staying within
themselves.
The selfish lives
staining their own souls.
Seeing only the narrow point
of their own goals.
Ignoring the other's please for kindness,
And trampling
yet another
under.

(Chorus)
Oh, can't you see?
Oh, won't you feel?
Please let me have the strength,
not to close my heart.
I feel, uncertain, like many
of what exactly is my part.
(/end chorus)

See them limp along
hand holding
grubby child's hand.
Calling out to anyone,
just to help them stand.

One cowers in a corner
shelter made of plastic.
But there still is power
though calloused under
many layers of bootprints
on face and back.
They still survive,
just a little longer.
Just a little longer.

(back to chorus)

A BMW drives on by
drivers nose pointing to the sky.
She doesn't let herself see
the little girl sitting on the curb,
who does cry.
Who does cry?
Missing her parents
who are no longer
around.
Gunned down.
In the alley way
just because they had a jacket
that some coked out wacko
wanted to sell.

(back to chorus)

Dark clouds gather
and empty their deluge.
Washing away
the filth and sundry sewage.
The little girl looks up,
tears mingling with rain.
She's closing her heart,
so she won't feel the pain.

Then someone blocks her view
of the overcast sky,
an older bearded man,
with a smile very wry.
She sees his tattered cuffs
and sees the compassion,
even through the gruff.
He extends his hand,
out to her.
And thus slows down
the scarring and closing
caused by another
dirty town.

(Finale)
Oh, don't you see?
Oh, won't you feel?
Please let me have the strength,
not to close my heart.
I feel, uncertain like many,
of what exactly is my part?
What can I do, to help stop the pain?
Where do I turn,
to stop the drain
of all the souls
down the gutter
with that gangrenous rain?
Please let me
have the strength
not to close my heart.
I feel uncertain, like many
of what exactly is my part.
My part, my part, my part.
What is my part?

Mostly a very jarring, on edge, electric guitar piece with heavy distortion, not a lot in the way of lyrics, but here's what few words I did write down for it. This would be around spring 1991, while I was living in the "Hobbit Hell Hole", I believe, and I had goen about 30-45 days, in middle of downtown Salt Lake city without talking to a single human being, and living on peanut butter and honey sandwiches and water....


Beautiful Noise
Em
Fm
Gm

I have lost my mind
I have lost my mind
Poor lost soul
Poor lost soul

You see my mind cracking
And you stand there laughing
What? I am a beautiful NOISE!!!
(harmonics)

I have no real idea when it was I wrote this. Somewhere between 1989 and 1993/4ish.

As I type up these lyrics, I don't remember writing them exactly, but I think I can place the time period roughly around summer/fall of 1993-5ish.

Violent Skies
Chord Lyric
G Purple rose
E Violent rose
G Purple rose
E-G-F-F-E Bring's tears to my eyes
Bring's tears to my eyes


Purple rose
Dark lullabies
Purple rose
BRings tears to my eyes
Brings tears to my eyes

A She's a treat
G/F And I adore her
Such conceit
and I ignore her
I get beat
and I implore her
F-G-A Don't finish me
Don't finish me!


She's a threat
And such a whore
We just met
And she wants more
Throws her net
and I do implore
Don't finish me
Don't finish me!

She's a girl
for one, two (2) admire
A rare pearl
three, four desire
When she twirls
I cry to her
Don't finish me
Don't finish me!


Lying rose
Evil disguise
Dying rose
Don't finish me
Don't finish me.

I think I wrote this clear back aroun 1989ish when I was living in Brittainy Apartments in Murray Utah.
I suspect it was after an unpleasant breakup, but I don't recall exactly.

Individual notes, then chords
1: A,B,C, C-Chord
2: C,B,A, A-Chord
3: Chords: D-F-C-F
4: Chords: D-F-C-G
5: Chords (E-chord variants): A, Ab, G, F#

Little Child (or The Dark Sea)
1: So my children
2.: Don't weep now
1: Follow me
2: I'll show you the way
3: Children laughing, playing today
4: Children who do what they may
5: Little children are swimming
5: Into the little, black sea
5: "Little children!", I do cry
5: "Don't swim there or you will die!"
5: But they go further out
5: Beyond hearing my true shout
5: LIttle children are swim-ming
5 (but end on F chord): Lost into the very black thing.

1: So my brothers
2: Don't weep now
1: Follow me
2: I'll show you the way
3: Brothers, laughing, playing, today
4: Brothers, who do what they may.
5: Dearest brothers are swimming
5: Info the dark, black sea.
5: "Dearest brothers!" I do cry
5: "Don't swim there, or you will die!"
5: But they ignore my loud plea
5: and go deeper into the sea
5: Little children are swim-ming
5 (end with F chord): lost into the very black thing.

1: So my ladies
2: Don't weep now
1: Follow me,
2: I'll show you the way.
3: Ladies laughing, playing today
4: Ladies who will hurt who they may.
5: "Sweetest" ladies are swimming
5: Into the little, black sea
5: "Sweetest ladies!" I do cry
5: "Go swim there, you won't die"
5: But they know the sea from withing
5: And they take and throw me far in
5: "Sweetest" ladies are all laughing
5 (end with F chord): As I'm lost into the black thing.

1: So I do find
2: Their dark heart
1: It is the
2: Little blackest sea
3: Sisters created for their joy
4: Their dark trap makes me a toy
5: But no more, will I play
5: For the ladies best lay
5: Though it's fun, and I'm good
5: I won't take that dark hood
5: So I ignore their calling pleas
5: And I escape their black sea
5: Little child is swim-ming
5 (end with F chord): Lost into the very black thing.
End on F down to C, down to A minor.
This is a pretty darn awful recording (terrible singing, etc.), but I did make it, so I'm linking to it, but you've been warned....
Little Child (Black Sea, aka "Sweetest Ladies")
(c) 1989-2006 by Hawke (who else would want it anyway! :-P ).

Wrote this just before a friend named Scott Bliss came to visit after he moved to California.
He helped me flesh this out and we did an improve live recording of it. I'll add the link for that later.
It actually came out pretty decent for a rough draft. Would be nice to refine and re-record it some day.
It was around Summer of 1992 or 1993 I think.

Hear My Plea

Hear my plea
Won't you set me free
Ooooh set me free

Don't throw me
In chains and irons
Don't lock me behind the door
Don't tear my flesh
Don't rip my soul
Don't ignore me anymore

Don't you see
I'm a human being
Can't you see
I deserve freedom

Don't walk away
Don't throw away
What we've built today
Don't turn away
Don't scorn today
Set all free any way
Set all free any way!


Below is a link to listen to the very rough, improvised recording Scott and I did on the fly. It's rough, but fun, and wasn't as bad as it could have been. :-P
Hear My Plea, vocals and guitars Hawke and Scott. (c) 1994-2006 by Hawke

I wrote this when I was living in Villa Franche around Summer 1993.
I had a lot of fun with "Special effects" When recording it, for example, the "boiling mud" was me holding a microphone over my mouth as I "gurgled" slowly some pepsi, and other such "Analog" special effects. The recording is less than perfect on the then new Yamaha M2HB 4 track (with 6 input) recorder, but it was fun anyway, though darkly humorous.

The Final Tour

Welcome to a world
Where Evil rules
Piles of gold
and hills of jewels

The laugh of Satan
and the fires of Hell
can be bought
in a can
or found in a shell.

Hear the dragon's roar
and the breath of doom
no one can ignore
in any room
in any room.

The screams of ecstasy
mix with agony
and create a music
of haunting cacauphony
haunting syllogy

The trees provide no shade
from the unseen moon
and the heat of the fires
freezes to the bone
freezes to the bone.

On you left
are the lost souls
Those who died
with no accomplished goals
with no accomplished goals

On your right
in the boiling mud
are the people
who drew human blood
drew human blood

Before us you see
is the flaming pit
for thee.

The screams of ecstasy
mix with agony
and create a music
of haunting cacauphony
melancholy tranquility
clarity, lucidity
haunting syllogy

The Final Tour 1994 recording From the Muses of the Early Days album. (c) Hawke 1994-2006.

Another one I'm not sure when I wrote. I'll again guess from 1989-1994ish.

Wandering Dreams, Full Circle

Through sky blue torrents
And rivers of lava (fire?)
I can't be bent
I can't be bent

Deep red welts
Show on my soul
Life with no goal
Life with no goal

Wandering dreams
Slandering thoughts
meandering hopes
slaughtering loves.

If it goes on
And becomes the song
I'm sure of fate
I won't last long
Then one walks in
Lighting the dusk
Is want a sin?
Then I ask
Where do I begin?
Where do I begin?

Wandering dreams
Wanton thoughts
Clearing hopes
Dreaming of love

Keep the golden heart
Close to my start
When it once begins
Such golden glory
Is the middle of the story.

Time wanders once again
Loves and passions do wane
One feels stronger,
ther other stranger
No arguments
We drift apart
though no change of our heart.
So what has happened
I'm back at the start
But now with a broken heart.

Sky blue torrents
Rivers of blood
I am bent
and drowned in the flood
drowned in the flood.



Wandering dreams

But stumbled across it in my notes and lyrics, so thought I'd just put it here:

"He who fights with monsters, should look to it that he himself, does not become a monster."

"When you gaze too long into the abyss.... the abyss also gazes into you."

Hmmm. I imagine it was a couple of quotes I heard that I liked and jotted down on the nearest available writing surface. ;-)

This was an amalgamation of thoughts, ideas, experiences, images, and people based on my multiple times of having to live on the streets and other generally homeless periods of my life.
I really like this song, both the lyrics and the music for it, but my voice just can't do it the justice of what I hear in my head, and I hope some day I can find someone who can, who would be willing to sing and record it for me some day.
I think I wrote it around '94-'95 ish.

Streetwalkin'

My eyes climb through
the craggy rifts and valleys,
towers and highways,
of her weather beaten face.
My heart feels for
the deep scars and furrows,
welts and bruises,
of her hammered grace.

Ooooh, don't you see?
Ooooh, won't you feel?
They're everywhere,
but invisible,
to the cold eyes
staying within themselves
The selfish lives
staining their own souls.
Seeing only the narrow point
of their own goals.
Ignoring the other's please for kindness
and trampling yet another under.

Please let me have the strength
not to close my heart.
I feel
uncertain, like many
of what exactly is my point?

(I) see them limp along
hand holding grubby child's hand
calling out to anyone
just to help them stand.
One cowers in a corner
shelter made of plastic,
but there still is power,
though calloused under,
many layers of bootprints
on face and back
they still survive
just a little longer
just a little longer.

A BMW drives on by
driver's nose pointing to the sky.
She doesn't let herself see
the little girl sittingon the curb,
who does cry.
Who does cry?
Missing her parents
who are no longer around.
Gunned down.
In the alley way
just because they had a jacket
that some coked out wacko wanted to sell.

Ooooh, won't you see?
Ooooh, can't you feel?
Please let me have the strength
not to close my heart.
I feel
uncertain, like many
of what exactly is my point?

The dark clouds gather
and empty their deluge
washing away
the filth and sundry sewage.

The little girl looks up,
tears mingling with rain.
She's closing her heart,
so she won't feel the pain.
Then someone blocks her view
of the overcast sky.
An older bearded man,
with a smily very wry.

She sees his tattered cuffs
but sees the compassion
even through the gruff.
He extends his hand
out to her.
And thus slows down,
the scarring and closing.
Caused by another
dirty town.

Ooooh, can you see?
Ooooh, do you feel?
Please let me have the strength
not to close my heart.
I feel uncertain, like many.
Of what exactly is my part.
What can I do, to help stop the pain?
Where do I turn to stop all the drain?
of all the lost souls, down the gutter,
with that gangrenous rain.
Please let me have the strength
not to close my heart.
I feel uncertain, like many.
Of what exactly is my part.
my part
my part
my part. I did a recording in November 2005. It's not very good, alas, my singing is far from adequate. And I had a sore throat then too. But it hopefully gets the rough idea apart of it's potential. Please feel free to comment (other than my crappy singing, and less than stellar guitar trying to sing and play at the same time). ;-)

Streetwalkin Guitar and Vocals 2005-11-19

When the vile venom is all that roils and boils within.
When the bile spews forth from the very bowels and onto the floor.
When the inner mind can only dwell on darkness and self loathing.
When the tumult is all that is left.
What is left? What is human? What is judgment?
What is worth?
All those around are afraid, or hurt, or angry.
All thoughts within are guilt, afraid, anger, and darkness.
No longer the controls on the never ending maelstrom that has always been there since remembrance.
The shell of protection is too thin and riddled with cracks.
The thread that holds within to thin, frail, and frayed.
The tremors of the deep now escape for all to see in great terrible eruptions.
My body shows signs parallel to the struggle within.
Decaying, weakening, never ending pain and aches.
Sickening, disgusting, eruptions bursting and leaking.
Why not embrace? Why not save all from this evil? Why continue to afflict the world?
Why continue this farce of worth?
What IS worth?
...

With no god, no gods, no heaven and hell.
Or if there is, then the rules say to hell this creature should be damned and contained.
Protecting the world and it's denizens from it's vileness.
Oh, to only have the strength to do what should be done. Should have been done. Many, many years before.
But instead, continuing to embrace cowardice.
Hurting things, slaying feelings, bursting confidences, destroying lives,
and spreading the infection and filth further.
With each passing year.
With each passing month.
With each passing week.
With each passing day.
With each passing moment.
One breath at a time.
Still breathing.
Still breathing the fumes of putrescence on all around.
The dark cloud slowly spreading.
Sapping the light from her eyes.
Withering her soul.
Stunting their growth.
Bringing only sorrow, confusion, hatred, tears, and anger.
Why will the world not end what it has been whittling away at for so long?
Why can't I fulfull what the universe has been telling me to complete for so long?
Why must I continue to embrace cowardice?
This creature must be put down before it slays again.
It must stop the sucking, the draining, the poisoning of all around.
If anything is worth keeping.
Then this must happen.
But what is worth? What is not worth?
The trails are all but dim glimmers of past hopes faded through dark veils of self,
intertwined with the amorphuous shrouds of opaqueness.
Not really translucent anymore.
Only images, faint and distant in the mind,
deceive the eye into thinking there is any more than naught to see stretching ahead.
Bring the last few vestiges of what is left in this dry well to the surface.
Just one more time.
Sip enough little strength to save them all.
Swallow just enough.
Dig just far enough.
To do what MUST be done.

-Hawke

September 15th, 2003

In response to a document in the EWU (Eastern Washington University) Library 101 course, I was struck by the (obvious motivation) total bias and negative, condescending attitude of the document's introduction towards public information and free search engines.

I am pasting below my response to this document, though some of the context might be a little confusing since most outside of EWU will not have read the document that this is in reference to. However, most of the statements stand pretty clearly on their own.

Feel free to comment. Cheers! -Hawke

"

It may be true that the media industry is fighting to keep the current paradigm as much in the “quality information costs money” realm. But I STRONGLY disagree with the premise that it must always remain as the future evolution of our society in staying on that course. That is not to say that it might not stay stuck in such antiquated a mode of thought, but that the best benefit to society, and the human race's evolution, is a complete paradigm shift to completely open and free “quality information”. The technology already exists to discern and disseminate that information, if only those who control the data would allow it be released.

One of the better examples of this argument is the “Open Source” versus “Closed Source” debate to developing software, which I've commented on in other parts of the DB, so I'll not duplicate that here. The main point is that societies advance when “quality information” is freely given and shared, and societies are stunted, even devolving, when information is controlled by cost or elitists and those who want to keep the “unwashed masses” under control.

The section on searching with Google is also a practice in sophistry (plausible arguments based on misleading or facetious assumptions), in that it makes statements mostly from the pemise of treating Google as the only search engine, or means of finding (quality) data on the Internet or elsewhere for free.

In regards to Google. it seems that the writer of the document is not very familiar with Google's (and other search engine's) “Advanced Search” and other features. Using operands (AND, OR, etc.) and many other criteria offerings on different sites, one can control results by relevant categories. Google also uses far more complex algorithms for determining the top ranked results than just “popularity”. That is a common misconception that many make, and then those entities wonder why they are 40,000^th in rank order of relevancy. As for categorization, Google is certainly not the best engine for that, instead there are many other search engines out there (freely available, as well as for cost of coruse) that provide exactly that type of searching. Also, most of the Search Engine Directories (Yahoo Directory for example) have information categorized.

There are search engines for specific professional data, like medical search engines, technology search engines, hobby specific search engines, literary search engines, the list is endless. Yes, it does take some time in one's profession or field of interest to find and learn to most effectively use all the tools available, but that is a far different reality from the blanket statements the document makes about Google, and other free sources of information.

I personally implemented and have been responsible for huge corporate and government full-text search engines that cost millions of dollars for the licenses annually, that were not as efficient as many of the now free systems have become. In fact, many of those agencies/businesses have switched to the less expensive or free engines to more efficiently catalog and access their full text data. This not only decreases the costs to the public significantly, it also speeds up the process of data research, as well as improving the quality of relevant data. The document instead belittles the power of the public search engines  Google, Yahoo, and others by referring to them as "duct tape quality and swiss army knife".

I was (in my working days) very familiar with Lexis-Nexis and other similar private "for pay" systems, and their limitations and high costs. As long as people keep buying into the false assumption that “quality information costs”, the stranglehold of information access to the public will continue to be controlled by a minority, when it should be benefiting the majority.

I am also fully supportive of Google's requests to scan in and create full text repositories of everything ever published into electronic format. I am very incensed by the media and publishing industries rigid resistance to this very important evolution of our society (though I am not in the least surprised). In one of my former occuptations I used to be CTO (Chief Technology Officer) of an online digital publishing company (that was later acquired by Barnes & Noble), so I'm intimately familiar with the publishing industry's business model and why there are so resistant and threatened by this topic, thus the rather lengthy response (my apologies if it's an overly emotional response).

Just my (more than) two bits worth of opinion on that. ;-)

Are there classes offered by EWU in training people how to make the most out of using the many publicly available Internet search engines available? If not, it would be good to at least consider having a document included with many classes that at least provides a link to a decent in depth tutorial on fully utilizing the power of search engines.

"

In the third section of the EWU Library 101 program, they made a statement that triggered yet another verbose response from me. I've pasted the response below...

"

The statement “Books are the best source for comprehensive information on a topic.” triggered once again my frustration with closed-minded, antiquated rigid-thinking, based on “well we've always done it this way, so it must be the best way” as a premise for continuing a pattern of behavior.

Especially since this was in reference to physical pre-bound books, rather than a broader meaning to included eBooks and the likely.

I believe a more accurate statement would be “Books are an excellent source for ....”, without the limiting statement of “best”, when there are now so many excellent resources available. And maybe mentioning them in a more holistic approach such as “Books are an excellent part of the many resources available for comprehensive information on a topic.” This again comes from my background in online digital publishing, and learning the “tricks of the trade” in the book industry.

I have since become completely disenchanted with the publishing industry when I learned in-depth and first hand about their techniques of “fluffing” up books for large spine sizes, and their editorial practices.

For instance, let's say you're extremely knowledgeable about a specific topic, let's say something like the “mating habits of the Bolivian Tse Tse Fly” as a not very good example from the top of my head. You may (or may not) be the world's most respected personage on this topic.

The information you wish to disclose, that you are very clear on in elaborating, takes about 50-75 pages for you to cover in all the detail necessary.

You then take this paper to the publisher wishing to have a book made on it. It is too large for most magazines or journals (limited to a few pages).

The publisher says, “Hey, this is great and timely information, especially with the current epidemic of tse tse flies everywhere. I'm sure the public will find this handy. Only one problem, could you maybe just 'fluff it up' a little bit, so that the spine will show up better on the bookshelf and so we can get a better price point?”

You ask “how much 'fluffing' does it need?”

To which the publisher responds, “Oh, only about 200-300 pages. We have people that can help you with that. Could you maybe change the topic to something like 'Everything you ever wanted to know about the Tse Tse Fly', that way it will have a wider audience, and it should be easy for you to add the other information”.

At this point, the specialist has to step outside of his/her realm of expertise to “fluff up” the book to 200+ pages. Frequently covering topics with sketchy background, and a lot of extra verbiage added by the “people for this” to add to the pages. Additionally it can take 1-2 YEARS to get that extra work done and vetted, oft-times making the value of the information far less in the case of more time-sensitive information.

Now, this is not a perfect example, there are plenty of exceptions, and better examples, but this is one of the MOST COMMON issues that happens in the commercial publishing realm for “quality information” and it's dilution, delay, and price inflation.

This was why the electronic publishing company I worked at, that provided downloadable books of any size, and was negotiating print on demand at B&N, Kinko's, and many other locations, was so great, because it negated the need for “fluffing” and the time delay.

I could go on for many pages, and hours about my experiences with the publishing industry and electronic publishing and print on demand. These included working directly with CEO's and VP's of giants like Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Microsoft, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Kinko's, Adobe and many book publishing companies.

The short version is that our electronic book approach was so successful from a consumer experience, and author's experience, that it completely undercut Barnes & Noble enough for them to take notice and complain to their executive branches about it, and threatened the old-school publishing industry businesses as a whole. So our company was later acquired through indirect buyouts and a hostile take-over, to then bury all the proven technologies, and withhold them from the public indefinitely (I still have all the source code, but I was be sued into destitution if I tried to use even variations on it).

Sound like a just another conspiracy theory?

This is fact.

I (and 30+ other employees and their families) lived through this, it was quite an eye-opener about the media industry as a whole, and the book-publishing industry specifically.

Well, I guess that turned a bit more rantish than it should have, but please consider contacting whomever is in charge of the Library 101 documents about maybe taking a little bit more up to date view of information acquisition and quality.

Cheers!

-Hawke